I am truly blessed because I get to do what I love every day, working with some of the smartest and most interesting kids on the planet – kids and teens that have amazing talents, are intellectually deep, spiritually evolved and highly creative.
I believe that these kids have the potential to help the world solve many of its problems. And yet, when they come to see me, it is because they
have been diagnosed as having some kind of learning, behavior or mood challenge. They struggle to learn, are unmotivated to do their schoolwork and are performing below their true potential.
What’s going on?
If you forget the child’s diagnoses and look at the child through a whole and different lens, you will see that these children are being misunderstood. Yes, it is true the child’s brain does function differently. Yes, their brains think and learn and feel differently. Yes, their symptoms seem to fit the diagnosis they have been given.
Here’s the part that is many times ignored or not recognized…
Their learning, behavior and mood challenges are often combined with remarkable, superior and unique gifts.
Here’s What Happens:
Parents and teachers too often become absorbed by the child’s problems. Encouraged by teachers and doctors, the seek a diagnosis. Then they focus on the (stupid!) diagnostic label/s their child may have been given … describing some kind of ‘disorder,’ instead of giving equal attention to the child’s accompanying gifts. Doctors treat the diagnosis instead of treating the whole child. Teachers teach the child with the diagnosis – instead of teaching the whole child. Parents interact with the diagnosis – instead of parenting and interacting with the the whole child.
The result of this, ‘my child has a disorder’ type of focus, is that too often their gifts are not seen as the brilliance of who the child is – as talents they can use one day to contribute to the planet. Sadly, there is a tendency to minimize the importance of these gifts – perhaps even to see them as ‘quirky.’ This is doing a great injustice to the children because it keeps them stuck, and severely reduces the child’s chances of stepping into their unique and real greatness.
What My Research Reveals:
I am seeing a pattern in kids and teens of all ages who have symptoms associated, in particular, with diagnoses like;
- Autism, Aspergers
- ADHD, ADD
- Behavioral challenges – including all aspects of defiance and depression
I am witnessing, in so many instances, that, in addition to their very real specific challenges, some also function at measurably higher levels in other ways. It often happens that a child is in the superior range for some abilities and in the impaired range for others. Some examples of the superior abilities I am seeing in these children are in the areas of:
- High level thinking – asks unusually deep questions
- Math, science, language arts
- Art, music, dance, theater, photography, videography
- Problem solving ability
- Abstract, highly creative thinking, original, unique ideas
- Verbal ability
- Highly observant – in tune with energies around them – Mpaths
Do your children have these skills?
If you are a parent whose child has any of the above skills and yet are grappling with other challenges – here are three important parenting traps to avoid and ways to help your child become the greatest version of themselves:
Telling your children that they are not trying hard enough, that they are lazy, that they need to be more motivated. When you do this, you are telling them that they are ‘not enough.’ This message reduces their sense of self-worth, increases a feeling of shame and heightens their anxiety – all of which aggravates their struggles and negatively affects their ability to learn.
– Make a list of your child’s particular unique giftedness.
– Notice these gifts as they reveal themselves each day and feel immense
– Strengthen your children’s awareness of their talents.
– Talk to them – often – about what makes them so unique.
– Strategize ways to build on your child’s unique gifts.
– Make sure that your children are in a ‘good fit’ school – a school that sees
the whole of your child, where the teachers have the skills to teach in
ways that these children require – such as using movement, music,
project-based lessons and experiential learning.
Believing and thinking, ‘I have a child with a problem.’ (Remember, your beliefs become your reality, which then becomes your child’s reality). Don’t allow yourself to fall into ‘traditional-medical-educational-societal outdated ways of thinking about the challenges your child has.
Fill your mind with thoughts like this:
My child has come to teach me to see myself, life and the world differently.
I see the wonder of who my child is. I know that he/she is differently brilliant, gifted and smart in his/her own unique way.
It is up to me to learn how to parent my child in ways that will enable him/her to step into his greatness.
My Message to You
Moms, Dads, Teacher! Consider the fact that you may have a child that is learning or behavior challenged in some ways and gifted in other ways – at the same time.
And if this is true please learn how to do two things:
1. Discover the newest and best ways to Heal These Children’s Challenges
2. While at the same time skillfully building on their natural and unique gifts
THE WORLD NEEDS YOUR CHILD’S UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE, AND DIFFERENT WAYS OF THINKING.
PLEASE DON’T MINIMIZE THE VALUE OF THESE UNIQUE GIFTS.