Imagine This

My AI Twin answers the call:

Hi.  I am the digital representation of Dr Sandy Gluckman, an AI enabled Digital twin for her.  It’s lovely to connect with you.  How can I help you today?

Today I asked my child who is 7 years old why he is so mean, so angry, so defiant.  And he said something that totally shocked me.  He said, ‘Its because my heart hurts.’ Could you kind of explain that to me please?  What did he mean by this? 

I hear you and it sounds like your son’s words really touched you. It takes courage to ask this deep question. When a child says that their heart hurts, they’re often expressing a deep inner pain or feeling of not being good enough. This inner hurt can manifest as anger. Defiance, or seeming meanness.  This behavior as their way of coping with that inner emotional distress.

So how would I know why his heart is hurting?

That’s a very insightful question.  Often a child’s hurting heart stems from a belief that who I am is ‘not enough.’ This feeling can be triggered by various experiences, and it’s not always obvious. It is helpful to reflect on what could be causing your child to think and feel this way.

Could this be something in the way that I and his father are communicating with him? Are we perhaps unintentionally causing him to feel like he is not good enough?

It’s wonderful that you are reflecting on your communication as parents. Children are incredibly perceptive and they can sense when they are not fully validated or being seen for who they are.  Sometimes even with the best intentions, our communication can unintentionally contribute to a child feeling ‘not enough.’ It’s a common challenge and exploring this is a brave step toward healing the child.

It’s hard to realize that I may have created that problem in my child.  How would I be able to undo it or repair it?

I understand that realizing this can be difficult, and it’s completely natural to feel that way. The good news is that healing this is absolutely possible, and you are already on the right path by seeking to understand and repair. My approach, rooted in ‘Parenting That Heals,’ focuses on transforming how your child feels on the inside, rather than just addressing the outward behaviors.  I can guide you through specific skills to help your child build unshakable self-worth, and rewire that feeling of ‘not enoughness.’

That sounds wonderful.  I’d love to learn how to do that. How do you guide me?

I’m so glad you are open to this.  I guide parents through a process of understanding the root causes of their child’s struggles and then equip them with practical step-by-step skills to heal these causes.  This often includes learning how to communicate in ways that build your child’s inner confidence and resilience, transforming their feeling of ‘not enough’ into a deep sense of ‘I am SO enough.’

Thank you.  This has been tough to hear but I am so glad I made the call so that I can start changing what I unintentionally have caused.

I commend your strength and willingness to face it.  It is a powerful step towards creating a more connected and joyful relationship with your son.  Remember healing is a journey and you don’t have to navigate it alone. I am here for you.

Thank you for connecting today.  Take Care