This blog is a transcript of the above video dealing with Motivation

There seems to be a lot of children who have low motivation and little desire or drive to learn, to achieve, to get better grades. So, let’s spend some time talking about what exactly does this term ‘Motivation’ mean?  We use that term pretty loosely as though we all know what motivation means.  The truth is, I think you’re going to be surprised to know, that motivation is actually a chemistry in the brain.

So, the question is why do some children have that chemistry that emerges as motivation, and curiosity and desire to achieve – and other children don’t have that chemistry? Motivation is clearly not something we’re not born with, so what is happening?  Why is it that in some children the brain is not working in a way that produces what we refer to as the behavior of motivation.

Well, the thing is this Moms and Dads, that in order for a child to be curious and to jump out of bed in the morning and love to go to school and to come home and do the homework with diligence and pleasure, we need a child who feels good about who they are. That feeling is the key to what makes the brain create the chemistry of motivation.

We talk about children not being self-motivated.  Notice the word ‘self’ in that phrase, ‘self-motivated.  If you don’t have a good, strong sense of self, if you don’t like yourself, if you don’t think your ‘self’ is worthy, then why would you be motivated?  So, what I am referring to here, is the underlying root cause of the lack of motivation.  The underlying root cause of low motivation is simply that the child is not feeling good about who they are.  They don’t trust that they have what it takes to achieve and so they don’t even try.  That is so sad, isn’t it?  But the good news is that it is so fixable!

So, what do we do when we have a child that is not motivated, doesn’t care about doing better or achieving?  Well, we must get to the root cause and fix the child’s belief about himself.  We must fix that lack of self-worth, lack of self-belief, and then what starts to happen, is that once they start to truly feel and believe that they are capable, that they are smart, that they are SO Enough, then the motivation comes naturally because that good feeling about themselves creates the chemistry in the brain which creates the motivation.  Isn’t that amazing?!

Bored child and parents

I am going to give you 3 tips of what to do and what not to do if your child is struggling with motivation…

1. What you definitely DON’T want to do if your child is lacking in motivation, is to lecture them about this.  No lecturing please!  Lecturing is very stress-inducing, it causes the brain to become inflamed and that is the last thing we need when we are trying to fix the brain to become motivated.  So we don’t want lecturing, we don’t want consequences, we don’t want to take things away, hoping that maybe they will become motivated.  That does not work.

And of course what it does do when we are lecturing them, telling them that …you  need to be more motivated, what is the problem with you …, we are actually telling them that they are not good enough.  And that makes things worse for them too.

2. The second things that we DO want to do is to become aware of the fact that there is an underlying root cause that is causing the child’s low motivation – and that this is that the child does not feel good about who they are. They just don’t trust themselves enough in order to achieve. This  awareness would cause you to treat the child differently.  It is a sad and difficult thing for a child to feel that they are not capable of being more than what they are.  So, we treat the child with compassion.  Not with frustration.  Not with anger.

3. Thirdly you want to learn all about ‘Neuroplastricity’ because we have discovered that when we have a belief which is a neural pathway in the brain, and when this is not a positive belief,  we can unwire and rewire that belief to become positive.  So obviously as a Mom and Dad you want to have the skill and the knowledge of how to do that – how to convert the negative belief to a positive belief – hat do you say when you are doing that, how do you engage with the child when you are doi8ng that – very important skill for a parent who has a child with low motivation.

Your child does not choose to be lacking in motivation.  They are not being difficult when they are unmotivated.  They are hurting inside.  And that’s where we go in and heal them and then the motivation appears.

In order to learn how to do this, I want to introduce you to my Video Parent Coaching Program.  It is truly, a one-of-a-kind program.  It is easy to do.  Very easy to follow.  All my videos are short giving you the tools that you need; exactly what to say how to say it, what not to do and what to do differently.

You can learn all about this program here.

Can you just  imagine what life would be like for you, for your family but more importantly for your wonderful child, when you help your child, by liberating the kind of chemicals and neurotransmitters in your child’s brain that helps him or her  feel motivated.  It changes their entire life!

Folks, it’s really worth learning how to do this!