ADHD exists only in the mind of some parents, teachers and healthcare practitioners.
Yes, I understand your child has all the attention and behavior symptoms associated with ADHD. Yes, he cannot sit still for a minute. No, she cannot focus and pay attention. Yes, he can’t control his impulses. Yes, she fits all the criteria for this condition they call ADHD. Yes, they have been diagnosed as having ADHD.
And NO, your child does not have ADHD.
This diagnostic label is a just a name that describes a collection of symptoms.
Since your goal is to help your child overcome the symptoms of what is being called ADHD, it would make much more sense to ask and answer the question: ‘Why has my child developed these symptoms?’ Giving a bunch of symptoms a catch-all name like ADHD tells us nothing about what is causing the symptoms. When we don’t know the causes, we can’t heal it. When we discover the real causes, and treat these, we can reverse the problems which means the problems are healed.
What often happens though is that we focus on treating the diagnostic label – ADHD – without addressing and fixing the underlying cause. The result of this is that the child will be stuck with varying degrees of the problem forever. And parents will always be searching for ways to help the child ‘manage’ the problems.
Managing ADHD means it is here to stay.
Healing ADHD means the problems go away.
What causes ADHD? And how do you fix it?
If your child displays some, or all of the symptoms associated with the diagnosis of ADHD what could be causing this? The answer is that this is a stress-related condition. The underlying root cause is that your child is feeling high inner stress. There is a good chance that nobody has told you that stress is the culprit. Or perhaps intuitively you know that stress plays a role. But many parents, teachers and healthcare providers skim over this fact. Instead they focus on reducing the symptoms – using an outside-in treatment approach instead of an inside-out treatment approach.
Outside-in treatment involves the use of medication, behavioral therapy cognitive behavioral interventions, psycho-social and educational interventions. Here’s a fact to take note of! While the child’s spirit, body and brain are overrun by stress, these therapies will not be effective. In addition, medication has side effects and can dumb down the child’s spirit. The most negative impact of outside-in treatment is that the child begins to feel something like … I am broken, there is something bad that is wrong with me, I am not enough as I am.
Inside-out treatment, on the other hand, is extremely effective because it involves understanding the ‘why’ and then addressing and removing these causal factors.
Important questions to ask:
Why are so many children feeling such high stress?
Why is my child feeling so stressed?
Here’s what happens. It’s a vicious cycle that goes like this:
Children with the symptoms of ‘ADHD’ have a sensitive spirit.
Being sensitive makes them begin to doubt their self-worth.
They begin to believe “I am not enough.”
This creates a great deal of inner stress and anxiety.
Stress hormones are released and flood your child’s brain. This changes the brain chemistry making it difficult for children to pay attention, be calm, behave positively and feel good.
High stress is always accompanied by high inflammation which also affects the brain and can also affect your child’s body, causing all kinds of physical complaints.
THIS, is how all learning, behavior and mood problems begin.
The dangers of calling your child’s symptoms ADHD
Labels are stigmatizing.
He is taken from one doctor to another, from one kind of therapist to another.
Your child starts to believe there is something wrong with him.
This affects his self-esteem.
It creates huge stress in his spirit, body and brain.
The stress triggers and aggravates his symptoms.
Parents, teachers, siblings, friends begin to identify him as ‘ADHD’ losing sight of the wondrous child behind the label.
Parents and family members become stressed.
Your child feels your stress.
This sets up the vicious cycle described above.
And now your child is stuck with his or her symptoms!
Here’s what I would highly recommend:
If your child has already been diagnosed with ADHD then make a pact with yourself, your spouse and the siblings not to use this term around the child. Respectfully insist that the teachers don’t use this term with him or around him or with you.
If your child has not been diagnosed, avoid this. It is not helpful. You may think that having a diagnosis helps you know what is happening with your child, but it does not because it may let you fall into the trap of believing he has a ‘disorder.’ This may mean that you miss the opportunity to find and fix the underlying causes.
3 STEPS OF ACTION YOU CAN TAKE NOW
The way to heal your child is to:
- Become aware of the fact that this is a stress-related condition.
- Find a practitioner who understands how to heal ADHD by reducing the underlying physical, mental and emotional stress. These practitioners have a different kind of specialized training. (If you need assistance to identify the right kind of practitioner and how to find one in your area, email me and I will be happy to assist with this. (My email is firstname.lastname@example.org. Please use the subject line: Finding the Right Practitioner).
- Read my blog: How Parents can Reverse their children’s ADHD. Here you will learn about the 3 parenting skills that will heal your child’s inner stress.
I would love to hear from you. What you think about this approach? Please take a moment to leave a comment. It would mean a lot to me and my readers.